I'm the Mom Who Cried Wolf.

I've got a really good excuse though.  You see??  I'm at work??  Yeah-and my daughter calls but I don't answer because I have people in the store and I can call her back.  So my daughter sends me a text.  But I don't look at it because I have people in the store and I can text her back.  So the people leave.  And I read the text which indicates she can't find her brother.  The brother I left in front of the tv when I left for work.  And so I call her back.  And she doesn't answer.  And so I text her back.  And get no text in response.  I call the house phone.  No answer.  I call the neighbor to check on them.  And she says she will as soon as she drives the 30 miles back to her house from her current location.  So I call and text and call and text and call and text a few million more times.  All with no response. 

Those of you who know me on a personal level (like you help me keep the bones polished on the skeletons in the closet) know I don't go to the emergency room for a hangnail.  So you know the bowel loosening panic I was in when I finally broke down and called...thepolicetogocheckonmykidsbecauseIwasscaredoutofmymind.  In my head I knew everything was probably fine.  In my gut I knew I was probably overreacting a wee bit to the fact that both my children seemed to have disappeared off the face of the earth.  {Now would be a good time to remind everyone that one of said children is a female teenager who is capable of texting in her sleep and whose phone may have actually fused to her hand and her children will most probably be born with communication devices already imbedded in them} But...in some elemental soul ripping portion of my being I was already feeling the mind numbing panic and grief of a parent of missing children.  I was putting up flyers and doing press conferences pleading for their return. So I called the Grand Blanc Township Police Department and asked for them to send an officer by to check on my children.  I apologized.  I said it was probably nothing.  I mentioned I was concerned.  My husband called me while I was on the phone with the dispatcher and I fairly calmly shouted at him that I was on the phone with the police trying to ensure our missing children were ok and "I WOULD CALL HIM BACK IN JUST ONE DAMN MINUTE".  But it actually is pretty much a bit of a blur.  I heard the dispatcher sending a car to our address to check on "an 18 year old female subject and 8 year old male subject".  After getting off the phone I waited to find out what was going on with my kids.  I called my husband who shared with me the same bowel loosening panic so I didn't feel so alone.  The dispatcher called back when I had a store full of customers to ask for a physical description of my son.  OH MY GOD....I instantly pictured him floating in a pond, flattened in the road, stuck in a garbage can, abandoned in the woods.  And I tried not to panic because I had a store full of customers.  I didn't even ask if they had found him.  I froze.  I couldn't ask.  I focused on his hair.  On his recently cut hair and his inch long curly tail that I make him keep because he has such beautiful curly blond hair.  And I hung up.  Without knowing if they had found my son. Because if he was fine they would have told me.  But they asked for his physical description which meant he wasn't fine and beyond that I didn't want to know.  They asked for a physical description of my son.  If he was in my house and if his sister were available they would not need a physical description of my son.  And I couldn't bear to hear why they would ask for one.

There is a part of me that knew all along that my kids were probably just fine.  I knew that this was simply some stupid little thing and that my kids were perfectly ok.  On an intellectual level I knew as soon as I made the phone call that it was going to be something supremely stupid and we would laugh about it someday down the road.  But there was a part of me that also knew that if...if I didn't make that phone call and have them checked that this would be the one time that there was really something very, very wrong and I would live to regret it for the rest of my empty and worthless life. 

So in the Perfect Storm of mis-communication it turns out that my son was in the basement hiding.  My daughter assumed when she didn't hear back from me immediately that I had her brother with me.  She had left her phone upstairs when she went to get her breakfast so didn't hear my calls or see my texts.  She had just discovered her brother in the basement when she came upstairs to discover a police officer at the door thus inducing her own bowl loosening moment when she (unaware that she and her brother were missing) assumed that a cop at the door meant someone was dead  and knew it had to be me or her dad (so ok-maybe we are a family that overreacts a touch).  She called me to let me know that they were ok at which point I completely lost it.  And we quickly determined no one was in trouble for anything since no one had actually done anything wrong.

I've been a mom for 18 years.  And in 18 years there have been some pretty scary moments.  I can't tell you why this particular moment on this particular day struck in this particular way.  I do know that I am ever grateful to Grand Blanc Township Police for ensuring that my children were safe.  I'm sure they deal with things like this on a daily basis.  This is a first for me.  Hopefully also a last.  I can't even begin to imagine the possibility of something really happening to one or both of my children.  I have learned through this I will not handle it well.  I will panic.  I will fall apart.  I will act and react stupidly and inappropriately.  And this may be something we laugh about someday down the road but from where I sit it is going to be a long long way down that road.  My heart breaks for the people who make the phone call I made today and never get the "it's ok" call back.  Lucky for me all is currently well in Book Ladi land.

Spring Cleaning.

Ah.  Signs of spring.  Not robins.  Not flowers.  Not green grass and blue skies.  It's books.  Wonderful, glorious, abundant and bountiful overflowings of books.  I love owning a used bookstore.  I especially love owning a messy used bookstore.  I'm not being overly sarcastic or facetious when I say that either.  Although I would dearly love to see a robin I am seeing signs of spring every day.  People I haven't seen since the fall are coming in to see me again.  Book collections that went away for the winter are coming back in.  The Plum Series.  Carly Phillips, Sandra Brown, Jennifer Crusie.  Not to mention newer titles that were purchased when my snowbirds ran out of books.  On the surface this does make us look messy and unorganized.  Underneath it all is a whole new inventory outlook.  Messy means I am getting in treasures.  People are doing their spring cleaning.  I'm getting in boxes of old and unique books. It is almost a whole new store every week.  So when I wake up in the morning to 2 more inches of that white stuff that keeps plaguing us or a bright sunny morning that segues into a wintery mix in the afternoon.  When there is nary a robin or flower or hint of green in sight.  I come to work and surround myself with signs of spring. 

Outta Sight and Outta My Mind

I'll be the first to admit I suck at blogging.  I have a million things I think of writing about during the day.  Random thoughts that fly between my ears and out again before I have a chance to grab them and put them in a safe place to take out and stroke, murmer to and otherwise molest at a later date.  Today I thought about a scathing post regarding the difference between Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas.  I thought about posting a witty post about the antics of our new kittens.  I thought about a sappy, tear soaked tribute to my late father without whom Christmas just hasn't been the same.  I even thought about posting a diatribe maligning the ever parasitic Kindle and the downfall of society thanks to technology in general (which would have been hypocritical of me).  And in the end I've decided that since I suck at blogging and all of these thoughts were fleeting at best that I'll just out my suckability here on my blog and move on.

gods in Alabama-part 2

I waited a week.  Why??  I wanted to see if my feelings about the book would change.  That happens sometimes.  I'll read a book and think I feel one way about it and and lo and behold I'll start talking about the book and find out what I'm feeling or thinking isn't exactly what I am feeling or thinking at all.  Confusing??  Yeah, for me too.

Anyway.  The ending was not what I expected.  And I never did figure it out until the end when it was revealed.  I'm actually not going to say anything more because I don't want to give anything away.  Suffice it to say that I never expected it to be option C when only options A or B seemed available.

gods in Alabama-Joshilyn Jackson

OK-Here's the deal. I haven't done a book report since college. Or maybe even high school. And I never got good grades because I always focused on how the book made me feel and not on whether it was well written or point A followed point B. And I always missed when something was left out of a book deliberately. I just assumed the author forgot. I guess I wasn't quite smart enough to catch on to the fact that the mystery at the end was supposed to leave me thinking. Hmmm.... I read purely for pleasure. Most of the time. Sometimes I read for education. But most of the time I read for pure pleasure. I am an escapist. You will hear (read) that a lot. This means that I am not very much concerned with the technical aspects of a story except in the regard that it is crafted well enough to pull me in and let me feel the story and the characters. (It also means that my personal writing is not going to be technically correct either) So let me tell you how "gods in Alabama" is making me feel.

Now normally I wouldn't (will not??-since this is a first for me) write about a reading experience until I am done with the book. But this one kept me up last night. When I first started the book I wasn't too sure about it. It seemed like your typical girl running away from her past and having to go back and face it (yawn) story. However it is our book club book this month and since I've skipped the past few I figured I should suck it up and continue reading. I even considered cheating and reading the reader's guide first so I could key in on the important parts. I'm glad I didn't. So far (and I'm 2/3rds done) the book is written with a self effacing humor and humility that I never expected from the character after reading the first chapter. Despite all her apologies the character is unapologetic about her own flaws and somehow manages to portray a vulnerable strength throughout what I've read so far. Do you see why I was up until my eyeballs got gritty?? Arlene Fleet is a character of cliches without being a cliched character. And the reasoning behind the insane course that she takes makes perfect sense from her point of view. "gods in Alabama" is fascinating to me. I can't wait to see what happens next and if my eyeballs weren't going to fall out of my head at 2 in the morning I would have finished the book already. I do have a preconceived notion about how the book ends. I will keep you posted, without giving the ending away, on whether I am right or not.

Happy reading,

Beth (The Book Ladi)

Suffering from C.O.L.D.

It's a beautiful day outside. Just the type of day I've been waiting for all winter long. The sun is shining. Robins are on the lawn. The trees have a slight (just a very slight) green haze to them. It smells like spring and I can feel the earth coming alive. I ache and itch to accomplish. I feel like I am coming alive after a long dreary winter too. But I am a C.O.L.D. sufferer. Weighted down by the heavy burden of my disease. Unable to move. Literally trapped in my chair. And on this beautiful spring day when I could be up and moving and accomplishing all sorts of wonderful things I sit here. A victim of Cat On Lap Disease.

It's a Beautiful Day.

The sun is shining, the grass is growing...Um...No it's not. OK-wishful thinking there, but the sun is shining and it is an absolutely gorgeous day for early March. Robins have been around for a couple of weeks now and crocuses have been peeking through so I'm thinking early spring maybe. Hoping. This has seemed like a really long winter. The kind of winter that digs in its heels and refuses to be shaken of in spite of early robins and early crocuses. The best part of this spring?? New books. Linda Lael Miller. Robyn Carr. Susan Wiggs. Sheryl Woods. My favorite authors are putting books out like crazy, It's reading nirvana. Book heaven. A wonderland of words if you will. So even if this winter drags on (and on, and on, and on, and on, and...) I'll just tuck up in front of the fireplace with a bowl of popcorn and a glass of tea and sink into a good book that will take me to a warmer clime.